What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

Are fanservice-y characters (i.e. Lara Croft, Tifa Lockhart) immediately bad?

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

What is your favorite cuckold experience?

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

Why do Indian parents force their kids to do stuff?

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

She loved him until the end.

But it wasn’t much.

Was Daenerys' downfall inevitable after she left Meereen in Game of Thrones?

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

She was in good health!

I could never make a relationship work though!

What are some creepy bestiality-promoting questions obviously asked for sexual gratification?

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

Why is only the left side of my vagina bleeding, on and off?

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?

I will be 64.

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

But, we were locked up after school.

Why are most girls not open to the idea of anal sex?

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

Would this be the day?

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

How is it not psychopathic to use someone for sex, even if they agree?

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

I couldn’t, believe it.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

Why does he text me first but when I never text first he gets mad?

Ive learnt so much.

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

She married twice! .

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

I never cut or harmed myself..

I was seconnd youngest,

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

Im still living with it.

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

I think the readers, may guess!

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

As i do to all so called friends.?

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

Especially a lifetime of it.

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

It was going to be , some day.

I was scared of men, in general

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

Who then, do I blame.?

This is how, and why children get BPD.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

And i lived it daily.

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

I write beautiful poetry .

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

Why did i forgive my father ?

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

What did i know ?

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

This is soul school!.

(And it was in our own minds.)

All the time i was locked up.

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

She wouldn,t have been !

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

We were not on the streets..

I was very sick at this time too.

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

My family never makes their pension either.

On the 31st of Jan this month .

He was dying to do it , i knew.

I know ,a lot about trauma.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

I waited trembling.

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

Put me off passion for life!!

They are buried together, in the same grave..

I did it because my mum asked me too!

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

So, i spoilt her more .

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

I was 9 years of age.

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

I said to her

My mum and dad in the seventies!

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

So whats the point in blame.

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

He knew the spot.

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

But ive been too sick for many years..

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

I had hoped to write a book about this .

One cannot live in the past .

I have no regrets .

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

She found it foreign!.

Where the ultimate outsiders.

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

He resisted the act ,that day.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

When she asked me how she looked .

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

And who doesn’t know suffering?

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

Comes on , in middle age.

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

We all went to grammer schools

My life is so biszare .

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

Im dying but, im not bitter.

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

I don,t even have a pension.

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

Was to survive, this bastard.

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.